Happily Ever After

By Jenniffer Mann

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Most children of a certain age, will tell you that every good story starts with ‘Once upon a time…” by the time the story closes with “…and they all lived happily ever after” the main protagonists have been through a number of life defining trials.

Remember Cinderella? After an existence of isolation and degradation, she rises triumphant from the ashes to marry the prince! Then there’s Snow White, driven from her home and estranged from her family, she ends up living in the woods with a group of dwarfs until rescued by the prince. There is a similar tale of rescue for Rapunzel, trapped in a tall tower until once again, saved by the prince! These tales have a number of similarities but perhaps the most striking for me, is that they were all children and in modern day times, without the fairy in the tale, victims of abuse.

The truth of the matter is, that we live in a world corrupted by evil. Child trafficking, child labour, physical and sexual abuse, and child marriage are only some of the atrocities children today may encounter, not to mention things like drug and alcohol addiction, bullying, or gang involvement.

If we bring the “Once upon a time” to present day, these stories are too harrowing for most people to absorb. I have witnessed this myself when hearing “Oh I tried to read about it but I couldn’t” or “I did attempt to watch that programme but it was too much for me” or “I know these things happen but I have to block it out”, or and perhaps worst of all, “Yes, I heard about that but don’t believe it happened.” 

Each time I hear or read statements like these my heart contracts. Firstly, because we have openly dismissed the victim and secondly because for many the need for a sanitised norm, precludes them from accepting the horrific circumstances that is the everyday norm, for others. Many of us try very hard to create and live in our own bubble of utopia. We want to feel we have the perfect home, family, possessions, holidays and if I put it brutally, there is simply no room to take on anything that would burst that bubble.

I read some time ago that the NSPCC reported 8 out of 10 abused under-18s, tried to tell an adult. This is according to research based on interviews with 60 young adults. However, adults acted in only 58% of cases! For the remaining 42% no one listened. No one heard. No one took action.

The unadulterated truth is that, “Child abuse is an appalling crime against some of the most vulnerable in society, but it is also something that is little discussed or understood.” This statement is taken from www.ons.gov.uk website, which then goes onto say, “Measuring the extent and nature of child abuse is difficult because it is usually hidden from view and comes in many forms.”

This subject becomes even more difficult within the church environment because we talk about it even less and can adopt practises and language that make it more challenging to detect. There is no way to adequately tackle such a difficult subject within the confines of this article but for anyone reading this, victim or perpetrator, please allow me to remind you, what love is:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)

If you find yourself reading this and have not read anything else I have written, then you have been directed here for a reason. Please know that love is pure. It does not deliberately cause physical, mental or emotional pain. Please absorb this and know, the situation you find yourself in is not your fault! You are also not alone.

Whether victim or perpetrator, “The End” has not been penned to your story.  “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6) Jesus was speaking directly to you when He said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”(Mark 10:27)

Your story is not finished but know your faith can heal you and Jesus can give you your own happily ever after. 

Let’s Pray

Dear Jesus, please hear the SOS of those who are suffering. Being healing and turn victims into survivors. Please help me to be compassionate and caring and give me a spirit of discernment to see those around me that need help. Convict the hearts of those causing pain to others and being them to a place of complete and utter contrition.  We ask all in your precious name. Amen 

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This Week’s Song of Encouragement

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