When four-year-old Sarah attended her first wedding in America, she had lots of questions. At the reception her mum explained there were two cakes – a groom’s cake and a bride’s cake. ‘What’s the matter, Mum?’ Sarah asked. ‘Haven’t they learned to share yet?’ Seriously, the Bible says, ‘A married man has to think about his…wife…a married woman has to think about…her husband’ (1 Cor 7:33-34 NLT). If you devote more time to your career than your relationship, there’s a good chance it won’t last. That’s why 50 per cent of marriages end in divorce. Understand this: when you marry someone, you marry everything they are and everything they’ve been through. It’s a package deal! And if you ask God, He will give you the wisdom and grace to enable both you and your spouse to ‘grow in grace’. It may not happen right away. As Shakespeare said, ‘What wound did ever heal but by degrees?’ It takes time for even a small cut to heal. But if you let Him, God will give you the oil of compassion and the wine of love to pour into your spouse’s wounds.
Never become so available at work that you’re unavailable at home. Your first calling is to your family. Your priorities should start there, then spread to your vocation and other pursuits. In effect, Paul is saying, ‘I release those who are married from the level of consecration I expect from those who are single, so they’ll be able to spend time working on their relationship’ (1 Cor 7:32-35 paraphrase). You say, ‘But I need to spend time with God.’ You’re called to love the Lord – and your spouse!
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