By Jenniffer Mann

Regardless of where you are in the world, what language you speak, your skin colour, gender, regardless of your social status, we are all likely at some point to suffer a degree of emotional and or physical trauma.

In my last article, I briefly explored the horrific trauma experienced by hundreds and thousands of Rwandans during the genocide but for most people, trauma will affect us on a more individual scale. After the death of her mum, my friend Marie described walking around in a state of “numbness”.  She writes: 

“On 9 January 2007 – Mum passed away. Everything after this felt like I was watching a movie of someone else’s life.  The awfulness of the things you have to do/arrange after a loved one dies.  The funeral, the burial ground, the unwanted chit chat after the service. I’ll never forget not wanting to leave Dad (as he dropped us off at the airport to come back to the UK) and seeing him walk back to his car ‘alone’.  That broke us. Upon return to the UK – I turned into a robot – completely numb of any emotion except anger. I went to work. I attended church. Sang in the choir. But felt nothing. This went on for months until eventually, I left the church and stopped believing that God even existed.”

For many people trauma often evokes feelings of being powerless and losing control. Watching a situation unfold that you feel you have no ability to change or direct, causes heightened levels of stress and anxiety. It can also cripple us emotionally for significant periods of time.

Anger, guilt, fear and depression are all by-products of trauma and can keep us rooted to a time and experience we feel trapped in. During what people often describe as “dark times” they can engage in destructive behaviours as a way to blot out the feelings of despair. This can manifest itself in many different ways including excessive drinking, drug taking, gambling, sexual deviance, self harming, uncontrollable bouts of anger, shopping addiction or even just very low self esteem and the need to constantly self denigrate. That feeling of hopelessness can lock us into a terrible downward spiral. 

What I would like to share with you today is that in the midst of your feelings of hopelessness there is hope!  The writer of Psalm 138 realised that no matter what he did, where he went or how far he strayed that God would never leave him. He poignantly writes: 

“If I make my bed in hell, you are there.“

Psalm 138

Whether you realise it or not, God is in the midst of your personal hell. That situation which has taken you captive and kept you emotionally bound, shackled and enslaved your mindset and made you feel that no understands, but the same writer also says:

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.“

It’s not true that you are alone. Jesus is the friend you perhaps never knew you had – in fact the friend who sticks with you closer than a brother, (Proverbs 18:24). You may not realise that Jesus is trying to reach you, but that phone call you ignored, that knock at the door, the concerned friend, this article! Is Jesus attempting you let you know that He not only sees your pain and loves you but He is your way out!

My friend Marie later writes: 

“After a year or so, a church friend of mine emailed the lyrics to a song the Gospel choir were learning entitled ‘He Still Loves You.'”

I recall trying to speed read it until I got to the part that said….

“Wherever you are, whatever you’ve done, don’t be afraid to come, He still loves you, He still loves you.  There’s nothing too great, nothing too big, that He won’t be willing now to forgive, don’t be afraid to come, He still loves you.  Feeling estranged, feeling so far but it can all change when you come as you are, He’s waiting, He’s waiting.”

Marie then goes on say:

“The Holy Spirit worked through that individual to lead me back to a fulfilling relationship with God!”

The road to recovery means letting go of the negativity holding you captive and making room in your thoughts and your life for Jesus.  When we put our hope in Jesus Christ we can have confidence that He is faithful and will complete the good work He started in us and has promised to see through to completion. When we have this hope we understand that all the other promises contained in the Bible are there to give us comfort, to guide and sustain us and be our buffer against tribulations. The empty gin bottle, the one- night stand, the betting slips, pile of clothes in the wardrobe with tabs still intact, the person you are abusing be it yourself or another, the endless hours at work, all in an attempt to forget your pain, will never offer the answers you are desperately seeking. 

As you go through this week, consider that healing begins when we allow Jesus to take take control. He will take the pain away. Try talking to Him, from the heart. Using simple words to explain what you feel and remind Jesus of His promise in Matthew 11:28-30:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

One promise I can make to you is that Jesus will be true to His word.

Let’s Pray

Dear Jesus, Please help me to understand that that road to recovery starts with you. You have promised to take my burden and I pray you open my heart to receive the blessings you want to bestow. Amen